For those who believe the Holy Spirit speaks to us in our dreams, I thought maybe I ought to start writing my own dreams down! After my mini-sermon introduction (which is marked by the ______Long Underscore Line_____please feel free to skip for times sake;), I’ve recorded details as precisely as I can remember them.
This dream was a little bit different because the biggest impression that I had upon waking up was that I remembered how it felt very vividly. Therefore I have to start this recollection by saying that I don’t remember having a dream for many, many years where I actually physically felt the fear even upon waking up.
It’s amazing how much more accuracy and understanding comes when you write down your dreams! As I list the details of this dream, obviously the feeling of fear was warranted and I can see why that would stick with me.
I know Holy Spirit has been Speaking to me to be more patient with some who struggle with Fear (I mean in the natural realm of every day life, things which some perceive as simply being cautious, etc.)
Even simply dissecting a dream, has caused me to look more closely at this emotion and remind myself it’s an inevitable natural response to many unhealthy and even ungodly situations. I’m sad to say that I’ve been at places in my history with God where I almost reviled feelings of fear- as though the feeling itself equated to weakness.
For those who don’t understand how anyone could possibly be so dogmatic, I really believed the opposite of Faith was Fear. It’s simply not that simple.
The opposite of Faith is obviously Doubt or another word for doubt – Unbelief. These concepts can’t always be measured in tangible ways and it’s not really up to us Earthlings. But don’t we humans so easily gravitate towards legalism, bogged down, punitive and swampy in our righteous quest for absolutes.
Only Father God has perfect measures or scales that can weigh what is truly in our hearts – whether we have responded and acted in Faith or Doubt and to what degree we have acted either way.
And only Father God can possibly know all the inner and outer influences, whether they be bloodlines, unconscious habits, unique circumstances or past traumas which absolutely weighed in upon all of our actions.
So here I am already meddling…coloring others’ interpretations because my own personal perspective is always so heavily gauged by this one question: What Is God Teaching Me about in this instance: Fear or Faith?
So I’ve redeemed myself for a time – the emotion of fear isn’t ungodly…it’s instinctual when you are in a war! But it doesn’t guide you very well into Victory – but the energy can however, be funneled or harnessed and even converted into something akin to Battle Adrenalin.
I think it’s often a parallel or similar to moving in the anointing. I remember many times in my early spiritual walk – I would look back at some of my bold actions in almost horror thinking “Oh Lord, what did I say? Why was I so bold?” I know my motives were right – I sure hope it came across as Love…But I’m getting ahead of myself.
In an attempt to be as accurate as possible, I’ve recounted my dream last night as a journalist would using the 5 W’s. There were at least two distinct and different locations so two “Where”s are recorded.
Who: I found myself amongst a group of what seemed to be some hybrid type of law enforcement/soldiers. It wasn’t a SWAT team or some anonymous squad of mercenaries. Whatever they were – they were all wearing black and had all kinds of gear battle gear with them.
Where: It seems like we started the night out at a campfire but immediately we were in this
*Large Rather Empty Building
There must have been many enemies or criminals inside this place which was more like a factory or a huge warehouse because suddenly, without any warning – everyone that I was with scattered, the atmosphere became ominous, and the building became an impromptu war zone. So I’m in this totally unfamiliar huge space with people I don’t really know; I find myself alone and I’m starting to be fired upon.
When: Its about this time I noticed even in the dream that I started to feel fear. I’m serious because up until this moment; it never occurred to me that I was in danger.
What: I look around quickly while ducking behind a wall and thankfully grab a gun that’s lying on the floor amidst some backpacks. Brilliant strategist that I am, I have figured out that I must defend myself; so naturally(to most people), I start firing back at what appeared to be one mighty heavily-armed soldier.
The weapon he was using was something like a bazooka and it was firing these huge laser-like bullets at me; but I remember at some point thinking he is really a bad shot because I simply wasn’t phased. The course of action which was made obvious to me was to shoot back (and thankfully this gun was automatic whatever it was) so I just kept my finger tightly pulling on the trigger, trying hard to focus my aim at this shadowy figure for all I was worth.
Eventually, I saw my main target lurch backwards then fall to the ground so I knew I had hit him. ( My vision was very limited with those fire bombs coming at me) I intuitively knew that whatever it was they were shooting at me was meant to kill me; but I wasn’t dying.
(Later on however, I felt my forehead and realized that it was full of small indentations and gunshot residue, but I’m not sure that wasn’t a mixed-up dream kind of thing)
As the one shooter was falling to the ground, suddenly I could see that there were actually two of them and I had to keep fighting. But it seemed only seconds before he also faltered and fell to the ground.
The next part of my dream I was still hanging out with this group of soldiers or whatever they were; but must have become a legitimate part of this group because we were in what seemed to be a locker room (of sorts).
Just as had happened in the warehouse, all the sudden I’m alone. The professionals seemingly vanish, though they actually have appropriately run for cover, and are defending themselves once again against these invading forces; but this time, the enemy is inside their own space.
Experience being the teacher that it is, I must’ve immediately deduced what was happening; and of course my gun was conveniently right beside me, so thankfully I grabbed it quickly this time.
I turn around and there’s the enemy almost right beside me with his huge bazooka-like weapon, but thankfully he hadn’t seen me yet, because his weapon preceded him. So I stealthily waited for the right angle and put my gun to his head (I vividly remember being shocked that I thought to do that), took his weapon and marched him around looking for someone in command to take over and at least handcuff this guy or do whatever the next step in their protocol actually was.
I did find my other comrades and once again, they were pretty amazed at what I was able to do with my…….. 😂B.B. GUN.
(This is the reason I’m not sure why I felt something like pellets in my own forehead in the last battle)
I do believe that my gun was only a B.B. gun for a couple reasons – although in the dream nobody ever stated that’s what it was – that’s exactly what it looked like….
So now that I’ve reread this – I think I’ve discovered some lessons that stand out to me anyway……hopefully they aren’t just for me but someone else may see themselves in here somewhere…
1. My “gun” always seems to be very accessible.
2. My “gun” is really the only option that I have…besides surrender and more than likely die
3. I’m always surprised that I HAVE TO ACT even if I am alone in this predicament (at least physically or in the natural realm anyway)
4. My “gun” is a B.B. gun because I don’t want to kill anyone – but the killers, thieves or whatever MUST be STOPPED.
5. I don’t have ALL the answers – I can only do my part and go find the authority who has the NEXT STEP.
6. Of course the enemy’s weapons look HUGE, but ALSO technologically advanced and are a mystery to me….but it doesn’t really matter in the end now, does it?
7. One of THE Biggest messages to me in this dream is that I HAVE TO FIGHT. How many of us would REALLY rather not?